The Problem with Striving to be Comfortable

From the beginning of time the feeling of certainty or the state of being comfortable has been integral parts of our livelihood. We enjoy the feeling of little tension or stress, who wouldn’t?  As a matter of fact many of us actually feel happier and healthier when we are in our comfort zones.  The comfort zone is that area in our life that is steady, consistent and without much change. Is there a problem with that?

As much as we love comfort, research shows that highly accomplished people achieved their success by constantly stepping out or being placed outside their comfort zones.  What comes to mind is Einstein’s saying: “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” He was talking about a constant mental conditioning that is characteristic to the comfort zone; that conditioning causes you to create and operate mental boundaries which impede your mind to see beyond the problems or comfort zone to a realm of possibilities, solutions and dreams.

Whenever you encounter the feelings of fear, doubt or anxiety you know you are at the border of your comfort zone. When you are experiencing those feelings, ask yourself if what you are about to do or say serves a good purpose or if it serves a purpose for the attainment of your goals and dreams.  Those feelings could also be a warning of something that will be harmful to you, in which case you can re-analyze your approach.

We must remember that feelings are not truth, they are simply indicators. We were given a mind to decipher those feelings so we could then act accordingly to what is best; balancing both our feelings and our mind. Yes, I know… easier said than done but impossible I think not!

Nonetheless, we must always have comfort in some area of our life for it will serve us as a place for rest and recovery but in other areas such as in business, career, money or even sometimes relationships we must move confidently into areas of un-comfort for growth to happen.

I will leave you with this thought: your dreams lie on the other side of many uncomfortable moments where you will have to stretch yourself to new heights; new heights of character, skill and knowledge. So, don’t let the feelings of fear, doubt or anxiety stop you from taking that step. Do it today! What is the worst thing that can happen, you fail? See previous blog on failure.

The Science Behind Achieving Your New Year’s Resolutions

“This New Year will be different and better, Right?” It certainly makes sense that as the year is ending and with a break from school and/or work, we reflect back on this past year and look forward to a new and better year. Who would ever look forward to a worse year?

But if we look around, we can realize that year after year… things do not change much for most people. Why is that?  If I can tell you, one of the main reasons is because most people will not sit down and clearly define and write down what they want out of life.  But I know that if you are reading this, you are likely in the minority that will.

Here is how to start: Set some time for yourself and answer these three questions; it’s best if you write down your responses.

1.       What lessons did I learn this past year?
2.       What do I want to accomplish this New Year?
3.       In order to reach my goals, who do I have to be?
Have you set your New Year’s Resolutions yet? Great!  Here are 10 of the more typical resolutions around the country.
1. Spend more time with family and/or friends
2. Get fit or lose weight
3. Quit smoking/drinking or any other type of addiction
4. Enjoy more of what life has to offer
5. Get out of debt
6. Improve my relationships
7. Learn something new
8. Change jobs or get a promotion
9. Help others or volunteer more
10. Become better organized

Unfortunately, studies have shown that over 90% of New Year’s resolutions never come to pass.  Here are 7 essential steps to make sure yours do.

The 7 Stages to Successful Resolutions

1.       Set a resolution!

Wanting, wishing or hoping for something different or better IS NOT a resolution.  For your desire to become a resolution, you must write down the specific results you are after and commit to doing whatever it takes to achieving them. Psychologist John Norcross studied two groups of people, both of whom wanted to change. Six months after, only 4 % of the group that wanted to change but hadn’t made specific resolutions had managed to stay on track to reach their goals; 46% of those who made specific resolutions were still on track. It appears that you are 10 times more likely to be successful if you make a resolution. I think I will make those resolutions!

2.       Take your resolution seriously.

What do you do when you mean business?  Would you just wing-it and hope for the results you want or would you do your homework and prepare yourself to give yourself the best chance?  I would certainly do my homework as well.  I say, if you are going to do something, do it!  When setting resolutions, remember to be authentic, align them with your values and cultivate a burning desire to achieve them.

3.       Set SMARTY resolutions.

In creating your resolutions, make sure they have the following:

S-Specific: Who? What? When? Where?
M-Measureable: How will I know when it is accomplished?
A-Achievable: Can you accomplish the goal? Do not set yourself up for failure by setting unrealistic goals.
R-Relevant: Does the outcome of achieving the goal seem worthwhile?
T-Timely: By when will you have accomplished the goal?
Y-What is your why? Anything that you look forward to accomplishing has a reason, right?  Find those reasons, become clear about them; a burning desire can only be developed through clarity, commitment and willingness.  The why will drive you and it will keep you going no matter the difficulties.

4.       Get the best strategies, tools and coaching to produce maximum results.

You know, in order to be more or have more you will have to most likely know more and do more.  Therefore you must commit to discovering what you might be missing.   Someone out there has already accomplished what you want; figure out what they did differently and do it.  A coach might come in very handy for this portion; if you are serious about accomplishing your goals by utilizing the fast-track; feel free to reach out by sending me an email atJorgeRaziel@ZealousVision.com.

5.        Take massive action, consistently and with enthusiasm.

No extent of education, preparation, will or desire alone will ever take you to achieve your goals.  There is a very important component to achievement, the hard work that goes with it.  Make up your mind that you will work at it, that you will do what is necessary to reach your goals.  You will no longer go another year with just hopes and dreams without seeing any results.

6.        Realize there will be set-backs.

Just like any path to success, there will be difficulties.  There will be times when you mess-up or when you seem to be getting off track… when that happens: jump back on the wagon!  Any path to the top of the mountain always has peaks and valleys.  Determination and persistence are crucial to the process.

7.        Be aware of your associations.

Be careful of who you decide to share your goals with.  Find the people in your life that will encourage you, that will believe in you.  Stay clear of those that will find a way to discourage you or bring you down. At the end of the day who you spend your time with will largely determine if you are successful.

In Conclusion

If you follow the 7 stages that lead to successful resolutions you will set yourself up for success.  I look forward to hearing about your successes in the months to come.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you and your loved ones a New Year of health, happiness and opportunities.  I hope that you will give yourself the gifts of love, forgiveness and faith. I encourage you to pursue your resolutions this New Year with the expectancy that it will be the best year of your life.

26 Lessons I Learned by Age 26

Here is a list of 26 lessons I’ve learned thus far; I share it with you in the hopes that it reminds you of the lessons you’ve learned so far.  Pausing and looking back at past experiences to extract the lessons learned might surprise you.  It did me.  What do you think? Disagree? Let me know!

1. Bad things do happen to good people.  It is not what happens to us that matters most but what we do with what happens.

2. Crying, laughing, anger and joy are all part of being human. Embrace them.

3. Do not be quick to judge someone; it will quickly damage the relationship.

4. Failure is temporary, and so is success.  No big successes come before experiencing some failures.

5. Fear is the biggest obstacle to joy and fulfillment.  Act in spite of fear.

6. Finding your life partner is more about developing yourself than finding the perfect person.

7. Greed will quickly make you feel empty.

8. How you see things now are likely to change, be open to new perspectives.

9. Intelligence doesn’t get you very far, hard work and determination do.

10. Lack of clarity simply means lack of information.

11. Lasting motivation is only intrinsic; it is the culmination of a strong desire driven by passion.

12. Look for ways to add value through the passions you were given, it will bring you fulfillment.

13. Most times it is best to pave your own path in life. Being authentic is the most important part in that process.

14. Nothing and nobody lasts forever so make the best of all you have.

15. Our calendars must reflect what is important to us.

16. Realize that what you do and who you are today will ultimately create what you will have and who you will be tomorrow.

17. Stepping out of your comfort zone is the only way to grow, so keep stepping out.

18. Take pictures, write in a journal… someday you will be glad you did.

19. Taking full responsibility for everything in our lives is the first step to freedom.

20. The only constant in life is change; those that thrive seek to create the change.

21. The quality of your life equals the quality of your health, not the quality of your bank account.

22. Value your friendships but know when to get new friends.

23. When an opportunity arises, it is best to seize it quickly.

24. Wounds are healed through time, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now.

25. You don’t know what you don’t know, so keep learning.

26. You never get too old to be a kid.

As time passes by, the lessons learned increase almost exponentially IF we stop and analyze.